DIRT & VITRIOL
March 7, 2008
© Fred Dumpling. Redistribution is prohibited.
She learned years ago that old dogs learn no new tricks,
so she has kept herself hidden,
building walls so that she might appear
to be the sweet, beautiful, blessed Daughter
and make everybody happy
because it's all she's ever wanted.
It begins so familiarly
with the 11 o'clock news,
but Mother provides commentary
on a particularly sensitive issue,
and every unwitting word digs deeper
and deeper—
Artois is nice this time of year.
Differing opinions escalate
to warfare
fought with words and fought with feelings,
fought with science and God and logic and
misunderstanding and
LISTEN TO ME! LISTEN TO ME!
Mother watches in horror as her daughter,
sweet, beautiful, blessed Daughter,
grows cancerous sores
in her eyes.
She never knew her after all.
Don't say these things to me.
What a selfish thing to ask.
This is who I've always been.
You're breaking my heart.
What about my heart?
Who's hurting you?
Why can't you love me for who I am?
You're sick. You need help, so let me try to fix you.
I'm not the one who needs fixing.
Get out of my sight.
Daughter finds solace in the bathroom,
where everything is simple, private, and white,
where her sobs echo back on only herself.
Biting words that should never have been uttered.
Rage emanating loudly, shrilly, arrogantly.
The memory crumbling,
the vision dissipating,
each seeing the other with shocking clarity.
The truth tastes like dirt and vitriol,
and the water isn't hot enough.
It won't wash away.
When she finally manages to leave the comfort of the bathroom,
Mother is still sitting on the steps,
her face in her hands,
her shame and quiet suffering weighing heavily on her shoulders.
Daughter kneels at her side and opens her arms in
a gesture of peace.
Mother holds Daughter, and Daughter holds Mother,
as they had earlier that evening,
but the distance between them is vast and dangerous.
Then Mother says, "It's late. You should go to bed."
Daughter nods, and they part ways,
each pretending everything will be all right.